There are a ton of business coaches out there.
Same with Men’s coaches
Trauma-informed practitioners
Personal coaches
And every other niche and moniker known to man.
More people get hung up on these things than anything else…
What do I put in my bio?
What do I call myself?
What’s my niche statement? (I help x do y so they can z)
These are definitely helpful but they won’t help you truly stand out.
Standing out from the crowd can turn into a game of attempting to one-up someone else’s messaging, or editing style, or be more polarizing than the next coach.
But shouting louder and more than the guy or gal next to you isn’t the answer either.
What would you say if I told you that the kind of coach name you assume, what you put in your bio, and your niche statement were far less important than you think?
And that obsessing over these is keeping you from settling into your brand and making real progress?
There is something that will help you settle into your brand more than this superficial surface-level stuff.
I know that may be hard to believe but I’m going to spend the next few minutes attempting to illustrate why.
You see, there are a ton of coaches of all kinds already out there.
And more and more hit the scene every day.
Let’s talk about what to focus on that will give you infinitely more clarity, conviction, and ultimately results while helping you stand out from the crowd and connect deeply with your ideal client.
You are the center of your brand
If you lay out all the mechanical and technical parts of what most coaches do within the same niche, most are teaching the same things.
With slight variations in what they call it or the syntax or order, they do it.
The ones who make it find a way to differentiate themselves beyond the mechanics.
You can do that in many different ways.
I’m not going to get into the surface-level stuff previously mentioned that seems to be a differentiating factor.
Things like…
- what kind of coach you call yourself
- your niche statement
- your brand voice
- colors and fonts
- style of videos and overall social media aesthetic
- website and copy
You could waste years playing with all of that and stay in a place where you’re competing with everyone around you to look better, sound better, yell louder, and stand out from the crowd.
Here’s how I like to look at this and what has worked for me and my clients.
Treat your coaching businesses as a personal brand.
To do this effectively it’s useful to begin at the center of your brand.
YOU
For years, I’ve started everyone I work with in one place.
Their story and values.
And more often than not every person finds this exercise eye-opening.
Here’s why…
If you can genuinely craft your experience of life thus far and spend some time thinking and writing about it…
If you can identify everything you hold dear…
If you know the challenges you’ve faced that have shaped you as an individual and what you had to do to overcome them…
Do you think you’d have a pretty solid picture of infusing everything into your personal brand to make it stand out from the rest?
You bet your ass you would.
This is hugely important for one key reason.
We want to do business with people, not businesses
At the end of the day, when we invest heavily in something there has to a deep sense of trust.
Let’s take a look at buying behavior.
At the beginning of the year, I took a course with a creator I admire.
Do you know why I bought from him instead of the hundreds of other people I could have done personal branding work with?
Here are just a few reasons why…
- He struggled with depression growing up
- He’s an ultra-endurance athlete
- He’s a minimalist
- He appreciates the fine details and that shows in his work
- He produces cinematic-quality videos for his brand
- He doesn’t sound like he’s ever trying to sell anything but share stories and be useful (this requires an incredible amount of transparency, courage and the skill of storytelling)
Do you see where I’m going with this?
Because we have similar values and I could relate to his story.
It was an easy choice.
The decision to buy had little to do with the process he teaches.
It also had nothing to do with me getting on a sales call and being “closed” on something for thousands of dollars.
Think about the last time you bought a program or worked with a coach.
Was it purely because of the results they got?
Was it because of their “pattented process for getting guaranteed results”?
Or was it because on some level you trusted that individual and felt a connection to their message?
Most likely it had more to do with them than it did with the exact method or material.
Now, bringing more of you into your business isn’t just about doing it.
It requires a bit of work.
It means getting in touch with who you are, where you came from, and what’s most important to you.
You may have a sense of that, but when was the last time you sat with that or even better, wrote it out?
Getting in touch with your roots isn’t just for your brand either.
Your story gives you perspective and connect deeply with your audience
I used to think that getting to a particular point in my journey would eliminate any imposter syndrome or doubt.
What I found out is that it happens way less than it used to but it definitely still happens.
I’ve just gotten infinitely better at keeping the voice at bay, befriending it, and most importantly snapping it into perspective.
In those moments where your mind tries to tell you that you…
- Don’t know enough
- Haven’t had enough experience
- Have way more to learn
- Or that there’s someone else out there better than you
If you’ve done the work to explore your story you’ll be able to measure backwards effectively and put that chatter into perspective.
Most likely that voice is incorrect. You’ve probably put in more than enough work to master your craft. And while there is always room for improvement, that voice is likely full of shit.
On the opposite side of the spectrum, you may find the honest truth that you do need to learn something new, acquire a new skill, or evolve your practice.
Either way, you’ll have the truth instead of speculation, fear, or anxiety.
Your story can also help your audience connect with you deeper.
Initially, sharing your personal stories can bring up a lot.
It can bring up thoughts like…
- Who gives a shit about this?
- Isn’t this a bit selfish?
- I hate talking about myself.
- This feels awkward.
I get it.
I felt the same way.
But I’ve also learned to adopt a practice to test my automatic thoughts and assumptions…
Let’s find out
Any time there’s an assumption, automatic thought, fear, anxiety, etc. I like to gather evidence to find out what’s actually true.
Otherwise, we’re just dealing with speculation.
It’s also liberating, whereas living in a reality where fears and apprehensions govern our activity is extremely limiting.
It can be incredibly confronting to put yourself in the spotlight even more.
It can expose your insecurities and vulnerabilities.
And that’s kind of the point.
People don’t connect with perfection.
They want more of you.
That doesn’t mean you need to develop the habit of exposing everything. There’s still a level of discernment required.
But right now, if you’re anything like I was, you’re being more reserved than less.
While your story can give you a true perspective and help you connect deeply with your audience, knowing what’s most important can be useful in a different way.
Knowing your values gives you borders
Writing your story gives you perspective and helps make sense of where you’ve been.
Knowing your values gives you borders or guides to decisions and goals.
If you value space and free time, that will inform how you spend time in your business.
If you value freedom and travel and you notice that when you’re too focused on your business that’s valuable information.
They also help your potential clients connect with you on another level.
Think back to what I shared earlier about the program I recently went through (as well as your own buying behavior).
At the end of the day, the one thing that most likely tipped the scale for me was the fact that this guy was all about ultra-endurance sports.
It helped me feel a connection with him.
I felt understood in a way that no method or process would even come close to creating that level of depth.
It brings in something that’s infinitely more powerful.
Identity
Most of us would go to battle to defend who we see ourselves as.
Your values when fed fuel you. When starved deprive you of energy and vitality.
Now, let’s ground this in practice.
Start here
Write your story.
Block out 60-90 minutes, tune out all distractions, and just write. This IS NOT with the intent to publish. This is for you so don’t worry about making it perfect.
Include your background, family life, history, key moments in your life that you believe defined you, and anything else that surfaces as you dive in.
Let yourself write and give yourself time to weave the story together and connect the dots so you get a great sense of who you are and where you came from.
After you’ve gotten in touch with your story, explore your values.
Use the following 3 exercises to arrive at your top 7 one-word values.
Your goals and actions are guided by your personal values.
After you go through these 3 exercises, follow the instructions below to arrive at your one-word values.
Exercise #1 – Identify peak experiences
Think back to times that were really fun or heightened emotionally.
- Were you traveling?
- Were you looking into the eyes of your beloved after you expressed yourself and feeling supported and loved?
- Were you running a marathon?
- Did you just finish writing a great article?
- Were you spending time with your kids?
Exercise #2 – Where do you feel deficient?
If you’ve experienced poverty, you may come to value success. If you feel isolated or alone, you may come to value love and connection and make it a point to do the things that support those values. List out places you feel deficient and explore what those deficiencies turn into on the opposite side of the spectrum.
Exercise #3 – What are your non-negotiables?
The best way I’ve found to explain this is …
What makes you feel more like you?
Do you have to spend time alone to feel centered?
Do you work out and feel “normal”?
Do you have to meditate for at least 10 minutes every morning to feel centered?
Do you feel more connected and tapped in when you’re outside?
The 3 questions above are just primers to help you arrive at your values.
They may not all be relevant to you. For the ones that are, be as vivid as possible. Describe the experience or the requirement not just in the mechanical sense, but in the feeling sense.
Example: When I run, I feel like it’s just me and the elements. It’s the ultimate exercise in guiding my attention step by step, thought by thought, feeling by feeling, one foot at a time. I feel free, capable, strong, and alive.
Here are a few more questions to help you go deeper:
- What were you feeling when you had the peak experiences?
- What elements were present?
- Was it just you or were there others with you?
Describe the experience in as much detail as possible and be as vivid as you can with your emotional language. The embodied feeling experience will create the richest result.
Now, read over what you wrote for each one and pick one word that describes each experience, deficiency turned into it’s opposite or non-negotiable.
Once you have this, reference the one-word values list in this article to make sure you didn’t leave anything out. If you’re looking at the list and see some values that “jump off the page” tune in and see if that’s something you value.
Now it’s time to whittle it down…
Once you have your list, play the this or that game. If you had to choose one would you choose this or that. This allows you to pick which values are a higher priority by choosing between each one on the list.
How to play it…
If your list has success, love, surprise, and honesty on it, you would simply ask,
“If I had to choose one would I choose love or surprise?”
Use your mind and your feelings.
If you feel stronger or one resonates more when you put them side by side, the one that stands out more is likely more important. You may end up keeping both, just make sure by the end of the exercise you have 7 values on your list.
The link below is a detailed episode of my former podcast, The Next Level, where I talked about Identifying What’s Most Important and assembling your values matrix. Use this in addition to the above to discover your top 7 values.
To take this one step further, pick up my free resource Personal Story Prompts and Posts and follow the guide to turn your personal experience into content that connects with your audience.
Too many of us fall into the trap of thinking we need to do what everyone else is doing.
When you know who you are and what you value, it’s easier to stay in your own lane.
That’s not to say you’ll never give in to pressure or comparison.
It is to say that you’ll be able to catch yourself if you’ve actually done the work to discover the deeper parts of who you are and what you stand for.
When you know where you’ve been and you know what’s most important to you, decisions become easier.
It’s easier to say no to things that don’t align with you.
And most of all you don’t have to fabricate your brand voice, obsess over your niche statement, or what kind of coach to call yourself.
You just have to be you and turn up the dial on that.
When you lead with you you stand out from the noise.
You stop trying to copy everyone around you.
You’ll feel more relaxed about your style.
And you’ll most likely end up getting the right kind of attention because of it.
Until next time,
Jeff Agostinelli
P.S. Here are a few additional ways I can help:
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