Understanding What Drives Action and Practicing Moments of Pause

Most of us are conditioned to constantly be doing something.

To hurry up and get out the door.

To “stop messing around” and get something done.

To not waste time doing something unproductive or that doesn’t bear fruit.

Most of who we are and what we’re led to believe is useful is conditioned behavior.

A bundle of neurons reacting to stimulus.

And very rarely do we question the effectiveness of our way of being.

Even if we’re caught in an unproductive reality, lacks direction, or has us repeating the same actions in response to our circumstances that lead to the same result. 

Time and time again.

Because the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t

The fear of change is greater than staying where you are.

In a recent email, I talked about the equation of effort and how there’s an overarching energetic that’s more effective than just incessant action.

Action IS NOT the enemy here.

It’s the underlying feeling about why we’re taking action that carries the negative weight.

When we can dissolve that state of being, action takes on a completely different meaning. 

In this article, I’ll unpack why we default to doing, what happens when we go too far in that direction, and how you can train yourself to collect energy and take action (or not) from a different place.

Toward the end of this piece, I’ll draw a correlation with the creator industry and how you can put this to good use in your business.  

What drives action

To truly understand this equation, we have to look at why we’re motivated to take action in the first place.

We do what we do for one of three reasons…

  • To reinforce our identities and stay congruent
  • To avoid pain
  • To seek pleasure

Everything else falls under one of these 3 categories.

From this perspective, we’re a bundle of neurons firing following conditioned preferences, actions, and beliefs.

And they’re all self-reinforcing.

We do because going against who we believe ourselves to be feels wrong.

We do this in the name of self-preservation. We avoid things that “make us” feel bad or genuinely inflict physical, psychological, and emotional pain. 

And we do to feel the way we want to feel. We aim to experience pleasure. Sometimes overindulging and others just meeting the requirement to feel a sense of comfort and familiarity.

These 3 drivers are all very biology-based.

The need to seek congruence.

The need to avoid pain.

And the need to seek pleasure.

At a fundamental level, these are all reactionary.

Especially when they’re fueled by “negative” emotions such as fear, anger, worry, jealousy, or even shame.

How we approach change 

Most of us still facilitate change from an action reaction-based approach.

Identify the problem then seek out the solution. Usually in its extreme opposite expression.

Hustling and rushing around constantly means “I need to slow down.”

Taking it easy for a few days means “I need to make up for lost time.”

The pendulum swings in the opposite direction.

This cycle constantly repeats itself.

It’s like a never-ending game of ping pong. 

Back and forth.

Fueled by preferences, likes, and dislikes. 

And constantly swinging from one side to the other can be incredibly exhausting and unnecessary.

Especially when we dig a bit deeper into what’s behind the need to push or to completely halt the unsustainable pace we attempt to function at.

What worry, stress, and fear lead to

What if I told you that most of your actions were driven by worry, stress, and fear?

You see, action is fueled by energy.

Period.

We don’t just do things for shits and giggles.

There’s always a motivation behind action.

Some would argue that the vast majority of our motivation is aimed at gaining pleasure and avoiding pain.

This is the epitome of extreme opposites.

Many spiritual and religious ideologies even point to this phenomenon as the source of all suffering.

While that can be a useful frame to renounce the temptation to play in duality and the extremes it creates, most take that as an invitation to escape worldly pleasures and lead what looks like a monastic life.

In many of these instances, that individual is just avoiding pain to the extreme.

In the process, they become allergic to action and the result of right action in business.

Generating revenue.

There’s another way.

What to do instead

When we seek out change, we default to pushing away what we think is responsible for our current set of circumstances.

If one believes that “they’ve tried everything” and “nothing worked,” they’re likely to freeze and do nothing. 

And if one is on the brink of burnout or some imagined worst case scenario, they’re more likely to push away anything that resembles hustle and embrace things that appear more spiritual or slow in nature.

This is a fundamental attribution error.

Action is not the problem.

It’s the place where action is taken from that is the culprit.

Now, cultivating a practice that allows you to hit the reset button can support to dissolve that feeling.

Even alchemize it and begin to act from a different depth.

A few ways I personally like to look at this…

It’s directing energy instead of making something happen.

It’s built on the understanding that the current “problem” is temporary and a result of past feelings, choices, and perceptions that can shift moving forward.

As long as one does not allow themselves to be ruled or overcome by negative feelings of worry and fear.

Or swayed by mere physical evidence of their current situation.

And definitely not influenced by the seemingly good opinions of other people.

Come back to center

Coming back to center comes down to stillness and trust.

But stillness doesn’t always mean quiet.

Stillness can be chaotic.

It can be the amalgamation of a ton of different energies.

In this type of stillness, you’re grounded instead of being a frenetic leaf in the wind, swept away by every feeling and thought.

Moving with power not force.

Not calculated or measured but guided

Not ruled or dominated.

Not avoiding, running, or fleeting.

Composed.

We all have default ways of dealing with adversity.

And when adversity strikes that patterned way of being gets triggered.

For most that’s moving forward as fast as humanly possible in order to fix the current problem.

Tackle the problem, figure it out, and eliminate it at all costs.

Now this can be an incredibly valuable skill to have.

Being able to turn on a sense of urgency or get shit done when necessary.

But more often than not, this comes from an unproductive place. 

Through the years, I’ve always returned to this simple practice of coming back to center.

Where the “problem” or troubled state is released. 

Not tackled or fixed.

Just let go of.

And all the feeling associated with it.

This practice always puts a big fat grin on my face.

There are a few necessary presuppositions to this practice.

  1. You have to trust that you’re a person of action. 
  2. You also must not disregard simple inclinations to do what you see, hear, or feel or question as to whether it’s the “right” action or not.
  3. In most instances, you’ll also likely have to start by seeing that it will go against how you’ve conditioned yourself to be. 

It starts by just gathering a handful of moments each day.

Conditioning moments of stillness

The core of this is illustrated through a lot of different techniques.

Still point
Zero point
Falling behind
The seat of awareness

It’s all attempting to illustrate the same phenomenon. 

That of coming back to a neutral stance.

Center

Not being pulled by desire or preference.

And not being pushed by fear or hatred.

Equanamous. 

If you’ve spent any length of time in personal development, self-help, or psychology then you’re no stranger to the thousands of different ways to understand the depths of human motivation and drive.

And if you’ve tasted the many forms of spirituality, pop-psychology, motivation, or anything else that leans more into our spiritual nature, then you’re also no stranger to the thousands of modalities that claim to be some sort of panacea for liberation and enlightenment.

Those are all fun and have their place.

Yet, there’s something that can take the lead above all of that.

Stillness.

It can feel like the most unproductive thing ever.

Because finding moments for pause creates a silence that can be incredibly uncomfortable. 

And as we already established… we’re conditioned to be constantly busy. 

So finding time to exercise stillness feels unnatural.

Until it doesn’t.

Through practice.

And when it’s implemented consistently you will start to crave it.

But not as an escape.

As a starting point.

Start here

There are many ways to skin a cat as they say.

When it comes to meditation or anything stillness, it can be grossly overcomplicated.

You don’t have to be a seasoned meditator or practitioner.

You just have to be willing to find more moments for pause.

The easiest way to do this is to deploy something similar to habit stacking.

When you do one thing also do this.

When you take a break from your work block, be still for 5 minutes.

After you eat, be still for 5 minutes.

Before you go to bed…

When you wake up…

When you want to pick up your phone… 

Be still for 5 minutes.

You get the drill.

Simply close your eyes and focus inward.

Let the dust settle.

Feel what you feel and guide your attention to just experiencing the energy in your body and moving outward.

That’s it.

Find as many 5-minute chunks in a day as you can.

When you do this consistently, you will build a better relationship with your body and intuition.

And when you build a better relationship with your intuition and your body you’ll start to be fed better information. 

The trick is to start acting on that information.

See what the results are and measure backward.

But first and foremost, condition stillness.

You’re retraining your body to do something you haven’t done, so do everything in your power to throw all expectations out the window.

Just do it for the sake of inviting more stillness into your life. 

Drop into being.

That’s it.

Done consistently you’ll start to create a deeper relationship and trust in yourself.

And you’ll stop looking outward for answers all the time and start by going inward.

It’s often the simplest things that produce the most profound results.

But don’t take my word for it.

Do it for 30 days.

Literally, what do you have to lose?

  • Trying to be on every platform and running around like a mad person to create content
  • Keep up with unrealistic deadlines 
  • Production expectations way beyond your capacity 
  • Always being in a hurry
  • Constantly worrying what other people are going to think about what you say and do
  • Stressing about meeting your enrollment numbers for the month

Takes a toll.

It wears us down to the point where we don’t know who we are anymore.

Let alone what we want.

Instead of constantly giving in to old ways, come back to center.

At the very least you’ll approach your work in a grounded fashion.

At best you’ll invite an entirely new way of being into your existence and witness miracles.

Be patient.

Be willing to discover something new.

Until next time,
Jeff Agostinelli

P.S. Here are a few ways I can help:

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